A little background info for you…
- I grew up on a farm in South Africa, in a big, rowdy family where I loved to play tennis and ride my horse.
- Failed miserably at University. Far too much partying and really, I wasn’t too interested.
- Set sail on a 46ft catamaran for Europe when I was 20 and was incredibly seasick for 72 days.
- Worked on private and charter yachts for 7 years as a Stewardess. Travelling, having fun and perfecting the art of cleaning.
- In fact, I got so good at it, I wrote a book about it –take a look over here.
- Decided there must be more to life than cleaning.
- So I studied while I worked and found the work that I really want to do. This took some time and dedication, well worth the effort though.
- This led me to start my own business and live the life of my dreams.
- Spanish dreams, to be specific as I now live in Barcelona and couldn’t be happier if I tried.
This is my (long) story…
I used to love spending my time helping other people. It made me feel like I meant something to someone. I kept myself busy with the urgent, not the important stuff. I used this technique to hide from everything that I hated about myself and pretend that life was good.
I was a professional bull shitter!
- I drank to forget
- I ate sweet treats to distract myself
- I partied to keep busy
- I dated any guy who showed me a little interest so that I never felt alone
- I had a permanent smile plastered on my face, even though I felt like crying most days – because this is what was ‘expected’ of me
Over a bottle of vodka one night, things got very clear. I didn’t feel things in ways that people were describing; I didn’t have the conviction and ambition that I admired in others.
Mostly, I just felt confused and I hated the person I was.
Looking in the mirror every morning was torture – where did it all go wrong? The feeling of getting up in the morning and facing another day in my skin made me question and doubt everything about myself.
Always one for a challenge, it was time I made some tough decisions, so I:
- Went to see all kinds of weird and wonderful therapists, healers and people just trying to fleece me for some quick cash.
- Spent loads of hours on Google trying to figure out what exactly was ‘wrong’ with me.
- Read far too many books about love, self, how to be happy, awareness and spiritual stuff that made absolutely no sense to me.
- Asked questions about life, love and everything in between to anybody who seemed to have it ‘together’.
- Did some travel to escape from all of the uncomfortable feelings, but turns out they follow you all over the world…
I wanted to change.
I had no idea how, but I was willing to out in some hours and some sweat. Anything seemed like a small challenge compared to the way I had been feeling for years. I also knew that no one else could make this happen. I needed to roll up my sleeves and get going.
I was super scared, I had no idea what to expect, so I started small.
Fast forward a good few years and I have found a new way to live and enjoy my life:
- Instead of drama, emotional torture, tears and feeling helpless, I now enjoy healthier, more stable relationships with family and friends.
- Monday mornings used to be the worst. I hated answering to someone else’s for stupid problems that were not important and I felt that I was wasting my time. These days, I’m focussed on my exciting and fulfilling business – it’s what I want for my life.
- I made promises to exercise and never kept them. I would join a gym and never go. Paying membership was the maximum effort I was prepared to put in. Now, I exercise in a healthier and more balanced and consistent way.
- Fear of moving out of my comfort zone was ridiculous. I felt like a fool when I tried something and didn’t get it right immediately. It’s getting easier to fail and learn along the way.
- Not quite the drunken mess I used to be, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE cooking and enjoying a glass of wine or two in a healthier, more fun and relaxed kind of way.
- No more running away from my problems, no more lying to everyone about faking my happiness and feeling fine. Instead, I enjoy travel and adventure in a way that allows me to develop my self, my understanding of myself and learn to be kind and love myself.
I feel so much better, calmer and confident in myself.
Can you relate to this and have been through something similar?
If yes, then I can help, support and guide you. I’ve put together a beautiful workbook to ask yourself the right questions, get you thinking and make you aware of area’s you may need to start working on.
Some of the questions bring up some emotion, they ask you to look into parts of yourself that you may have been avoiding, trust me though, there is nothing more rewarding than spending a little time getting to know yourself better.
If you are starting to realise that you also want to do some work and find yourself, what makes you happy and would like some support – book a Free Discovery Session with me.
I offer the first hour for free, with no further commitments. For anyone who is interested, but not quite sure how coaching works but not quite sure if it’s for them.
If you’re not quite ready for coaching, but would love a little inspiration, then sign up for my Sunday morning emails. They offer practical solutions to emotional problems.
And while you’re busy browsing around over here… Take a look at what people have to say about me.